Science and Spirituality: The Borromean Rings

borromean-rings

One of the things that I think has baffled a lot of people is the correlation between science and spirituality. That one can simply exist without the other. I believe quite the contrary. There are many things in history that have persuaded this idea in my mind, among them the project on Copernicus I did my sophomore year. Copernicus was an avid monk for before going on to rediscover one of the most groundbreaking cases to kick off the Age of Enlightenment. But it was his fervent belief in God that he discovered this, and his discovery that flourished his belief. The two worked hand in hand, and did so for many other scientists, for as long as they worked to conceptualize the universe around them in a sense that could be made for those of less vision, they couldn’t understand how it all ‘was’ without a presence, without God. Why does math work? What is consciousness? What is life? And the more they sought after these and other questions, the more they realized, or, thought they realized, that there was definitely something more out there, for how could the universe even work? How could it be so mathematically predictable (by certain means, anyway)? Why is everything the way it is?

One of the things that spurred on this post was a video I saw a while ago about Borromean Rings. For those who do not know what these are, they are, traditionally, three circles that form a unity that is unbreakable, but when you separate one from the others, they fall apart. A triad. A trinity. This symbol dates back thousands of years, and appeared in Buddhist temples. It can be seen through multiple different religions, and is probably one of the most influential symbols that we underestimate. You see, this symbol also happens to have mathematical and scientific properties. Whereas spiritually it represents:

God, the Son and the Holy Ghost

Maiden (Virgin), Mother and Crone (Wise, Teacher)

Heaven, Earth, and Underworld

Birth, Death, Rebirth

Birth, Life, Death

Qetesh (Qudshu-Astarte-Anat)

Latent Breath, Principle, Divine Light

Among so many more. It has been thought of as, the number three, trinities and triads, being the most influential arrangement of deities in the history of religion. And yet, we can make a reach out for science and religion in the depths of all of this spiritual talk.

In mathematics, the Knot Theory, concerning the Borromean Rings, were originally called Brunnian Links. They are links where no two links interlock, or, conveniently, link. The removal of any link leads to the collapse of the entire system. But, all together, the links, or rings, are inseparable. This was used to show that the linking number is not sufficient in distinguishing links. The linking number, according to Wikipedia, is  numerical invariant that describes the linking of two closed curves in three-dimensional space. Intuitively, the linking number represents the number of times that each curve winds around the other. All right, Math!

Physics. The Borromean nuclei applies to particle physics. This is composed of three parts within the halo nucleus of heavy isotopes, the core and two neutrons that extend beyond the core and form the halo cloud. With the removal of any one of these components, the entire system falls apart. Borromean States in Quantum physics. This one is hard to wrap my head around, mainly because I am not familiar with the jargon, or perhaps it’s just because I’m human and haven’t extensively researched this enough to familiarize myself with every aspect? Either or. Anyways, the quantum state of a multiparticle system is said to be entangled if its wave function cannot be expressed as a product of the wave functions of the individual particles. So, this part I sort of get. So for every particle there is a wave function. When you add particles, it equates as another wave function, because that is the product of the two together, right? So, if these or more do not result in a wave function that is a product of the individual particles’ wave function, then it is, in effect, entangled. All right, get it. Now, the GHZ (Greenberger-Horne-Zeilinger) quantum state is the entanglement of three particles. So, now if we collapse the wave function and remove the associated component in a link, it has some interesting consequences.  If the system spins on the z axis, and one wave function is collapsed, the remaining system can be factorised (relationships of the system can be categorized). If it spins on the x axis, the system is then modeled by the torus link (not the Borromean link; torus link actually has interlocking links): whichever wave function is collapsed the system remains entangled (due to the interlocking links, which the Borromean Rings do not have). There are other quantum states which can be devised which depends on the spin. All right, wonderful discussion, my head hurts.

Chemistry. The design of DNA Borromean Rings for nanotechnology. This makes little sense to me, so I’ll just post a couple (link) (link) (link) (link).

Upon more research, I have found more concerning the relationship with science, but my mind hurts too much at the moment to really butt further into this.

And, as I look back upon my short statement here, I realize I have sort of meandered a bit.

So, back on track.

One of the things that I realized is that the age of science came well after the first use of this symbol, or system. That we have literally used this symbol throughout time, not really knowing that there was a use for it in the applicable world of science, mathematics and physics. It is interesting, then, how it came about in the first place, and why? Why? And, a question that I can’t seem to articulate at the moment hovers over my tongue.  This symbol has been with humanity for a very long time, how did we come about it? Why did we come about it? Buddhists were the first ones to draw it, as of what we know at the moment. They were the ones who first unraveled this string, and we are still pulling it. What is at the end of that string? Why has it lasted this long? Questions that would seem to be easy to answer, but a straightforward remark on the subject seems to falter at its feet.

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Interesting Take on Society’s Problems

I was originally going to post something that many would have probably found offensive. In fact, as I read upon it I realize that a lot of my thoughts on many of the societal subjects we find ourselves against today were made out of spite, anger, hatred, confusion, irony, and so many more situational feelings that I couldn’t quite place.

I am thoroughly genuinely concerned as to the welfare of our society. I read news from other countries, finding that a country with only .3% of people being white, has a white president. Where 99 countries have more women legislators than America, one of the most ‘progressive’ countries in the world. Or are we? Are we really as progressive as we are led to believe?

We are in a huge upset right now. We are throwing tantrums like a 3 yr old on a sugar high, and you know what? I don’t blame them. They deserve this, because those parents gave that three year old all that sugar, all the reasons for that tantrum. They beat him down, shook him around, poisoned him, killed his brother, threatened his life, and now they are trying to justify those actions. Well, we, as America, have had enough.

I’m not posting on behalf of all America, but I believe that a large portion of our countries inhabitants will agree with me when I say that we are sick of YOU. Sick of the politicians lying out of their asses. Sick of the power hungry individuals that can’t stop hungering for that control long enough to see that the audience that once cheered them on now sit and question and wonder as to why they ever thought he was good enough to lead them. That he was ever good enough in the first place. And I’m not just talking about the big man in the white house down the street, I’m talking about the sheriffs who cover up their lies and their workers’ lies. I’m talking about the mayors and the senators and the congressmen and secretaries and anyone with enough power to belittle another and does so. Because it is not telling of a man with how much success he has. It is telling of a man with how he treats others when he gets that success.

So people, people who are on the sides watching these riots take place: take note. Watch, learn, debate, and be a part of this revolution. Because one day, when you look back upon these days with remembrance in your eyes, your children asking you, “Where were you when this happened?”, you’ll be able to look them in the eyes, and say, I was on the front lines. I was watching, I was spreading the news, I was reporting, I was being diligent. I was being anonymous, I was being the one watching over everything, making sure that nothing went unnoticed, so that those who were doing wrong were justly accused so and punished for it.

Because, guess what? That 3 yr old will have a sugar crash sooner or later, and who will be the ones to deal with it then? Those that were injured, incarcerated, or dead? Or the ones that took notes, that watched scrupulously, and realized that one side was to blame, that there was overwhelming evidence against someone or something, and that there is no way to hide it. And that the one side has been the one to be blamed time and time again. This time, though, let’s not bow down. Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions. Let’s not be herded back to our sheepish ways of listening and doing and following orders until the last breath. Let’s make a difference in our lives. Let’s be someone, do something, make a difference, change the world.

Let’s start a revolution.

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Adventures

Paths

It has been a while since my last post, too long, I believe.

My adventures since I had last left off were many. I joined the Carnival (again). I hitched to Louisville with a ‘sophisticated hick’. I played my guitar on 4th Street Live with a random stranger to make money for my bus ticket. I slept in a booth at White Castle (or, attempted to). I lived in the Smoky Mountains for 6 weeks. I milked goats. I met an awesome gal. I stayed with her family for a week before coming back to the big WI.

I remember how that sophisticated hick whose name eludes me bought me lunch at my first waffle house (which, apparently, is a real waffle house because it sold other items?). How he was nice to me despite the thoughts that ravaged my mind from how many various accounts of needless violence I had read upon the ‘sacred internet’. We spoke of the possibility of extraterrestrials, the meaning of life, his absolute love for NASCAR and his construction life. How he was originally not going to drive me all the way to Louisville, but how he decided to, why not? How he was scared for me after we rode through the sketchy part of Louisville trying to get to the bus station, making sure to ask multiple times if I was all right. And, how, even though I adamantly stated that, yes, I was fine, he still gave me some money to help with the bus ticket. We hugged, because a relationship formed after spending close to 3 hours in a car with a complete stranger calls for a more appropriate good bye than just a handshake.

How people are amazing, if you give the world a chance to show that to you.

And it never ceases to amaze me, the quantity of quality people in this world.

When I was on the streets of Louisville, playing my heart out with a fellow homeless man that was only trying to help me on my way, I was struck with a certain humility. A certain feeling that is hard to place into a specific set of words. The most profound moment of those few nights was the first night I was there. We were sitting in front of the closed Starbucks, just on the corner between 4th Street and West Muhammad Ali Blvd, with the CVS Pharmacy just on the other side of the street. There was a single older man that came by, and he stood there, listening to me, as the homeless guy was talking to his friend that stood outside of the Hilton hotel every night. I just had this feeling of exaltation and pure happiness, almost to the point where I felt physically high, as if I had just smoked a bowl. But this was natural. It was one of the most natural, most beautiful highs that I have ever had. This man asked me why I was so happy, and I couldn’t really place it. And I told him, multiple reasons, but, hey, wanna see something cool? The streets are empty, the night sky was above us, and the buildings rose above us like they were strong trees, unmoving. I sang Sweet Child O Mine (my go-to song for any occasion) as loud and as sweet as I could, and you could hear the reverberation through the streets, bouncing off of the buildings like a ping pong ball. I don’t know why, but this particular moment stuck in my mind. Just sitting on the dirty street, singing aloud to an empty city, whose lights were the only signal of life, the siren of beauty and transcendence emulsified in a city whose thoughts were solitude, loneliness, peppered with self-rounded thoughts and a static state. Maybe, on some level, I was hoping that the voice I projected would be heard by someone on their balcony of their room, making their life a bit better, that moment break out in a smile. A random voice carrying a loving message of blue eyes, sweet smiles and beautiful storms making a change in their mind, somehow, someway. Or maybe, just to make them smile. A smile.

It was later that night, where we walked across town, trying to find a warm place to sleep for the night. I had my close-to-100-freaking-lbs-of-backpack on my back as we traversed the city, trying to find someplace, somewhere to sleep. I had only gotten there that afternoon, how was I to know that I needed to call ahead of time for a shelter for them to take me in?

We roamed for a while, and we ended up near a place called Patrick O’Shea’s, which is a fine establishment where we stopped for a glass of water. Although the bartender was a bit ornery towards the guy I was currently with, he didn’t seem to concerned when I spoke with him (but, apparently, I have a way with people? lol) The wonderful waitress ended up trying to help us for half an hour trying to find lodging for the night. We left with confidence that we would find something, only to have everything fall through the cracks. So we roamed a bit more, and we found ourselves in White Castle, where we bought a couple items of food and lay down in the booth. The guy slept well, I slept like shit. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all. We awoke for me to return to the bus station. The guy left to do some stuff, and I was left on my own. I fell asleep in the bus station, and awoke to being kicked out (they close at inconvenient times). A man who had come up to me yesterday when I was playing my guitar outside stopped once again. He asked how my plans were moving, and I said fine, but as the day wore on, he kept persisting, and I told him how I was only a bit off from getting the bus ticket. He ended up paying for the rest of the ticket, as well as giving me a New Testament handheld bible. I still have it, though I haven’t really touched it.

There also happens to be a picture of me somewhere in the world on some obscure website. A girl who played some awesome rendition of a Spanish song she learned from her father took my picture.

That is only half of my adventure so far since my last post. I hope to be able to post more to come!

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Make Way Ahead

Making plans and seeing after them. That’s my way of forging ahead in this faring game called Life. No, not the board game (unfortunately, that’s much easier … ). I’m talking about the existence of our souls upon this sacred home we call Earth. You know, the one we ravage and stomp around on with our giant footprints? The only planet that we know exists and can harbor our life forms? The one that we are further destroying more and more everyday? Yeah, that one. 

Ahhh, well that’s another tangent for another day. 

I actually came on here to officially display what I wish to do with the next couple years of my life. My plans. Not to say plans don’t change or work their ways into beautiful lessons and necessary changes, but, as this moment stands my plans of the future are as follows:

1. Make that move!! 

I have made the necessary arrangements, now it is just solidifying and doing the actual action and I shall, once again, be jumping forward towards the bright future I know lies ahead. 

2. With that move, make some major personal changes. 

What kind of changes, may you ask? I, personally, wish to make some major, necessary adjustments in the way I live my life. I plan on slowly transforming to a more healthy, wealthy, and better living lifestyle. I’ll get to more on that later. 

3. Starting up my own personal business. 

Yes. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. And, although I am only 20, I actually have a pretty good amount of experience behind me in a variety of different places. I’ve had many discussions with other business owners on my couple months with the Carnival, and enjoyed some wonderful advice. 

4. Start up an Aquaponics Farm in my community. 

THIS is what I want to do. I know the land I want, I know which company to base off of, and I have a game-plan for it. Not only will it be beneficial to me and my family, but it will benefit the entire COMMUNITY, which is something I am really excited for. A commercial sized Aquaponics Farm, or even a couple if necessary, will help create at least a hundred jobs or so, and more if we grow. It will provide Year Round organic foods and fish to the surrounding community, i.e. restaurants, shelters, local stores and homes. It has a very, very small footprint, and will continually benefit with minimal outtake. It has so many benefits vs traditional soil farming, and even tastes better due to it’s simplicity and lack of pesticides (fertilizers and pesticides are strongly frowned upon, as it will kill the fish). It is one of the best ways of creating food for our consumption! Not only this, but I could then teach classes on Aquaponics, I could bring in other Agricultural students in to teach them an alternative to traditional soil usage. This community could literally be a center of a new Agricultural movement!

5. Own my own land, and build a house.

I actually am almost finished with designing the house I would love to build. It is also on the same land that my Aquaponics Farm is located, so I am close at all times to the business I own. I want to have enough time off with my two interconnected businesses to be able to allocate some music into my home and life, some of my art, and other loves of life. 

 

So, those are my plans. I shall definitely allocate some much needed explanations, and encourage others to follow me and my path, and to make some other personal changes along with me. I am so excited for my future, and I hope you are as well about your own!! And, if you aren’t, the do something that will make you excited. Life is what you make it, so mold it into something you would admire!! 

P.S. ~Don’t Forget to Smile!~

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Stumble Upon

NKJV 2 Samuel 22:26-22:28

This is my first time doing something like this. My momma used to do this all the time, and she still has the notebook where her notes are scrawled all over ever page or other. I felt a couple signs today, and it all seemed to point in a direction, so unless I get a sign pointing somewhere else, I think I’ve found my path for now … I just have to keep my ears and eyes open. I suppose one would ask, how do I define something as a sign, at least from Him anyway. Well, how do I best connect with Him? Music, mostly. There was a song that stuck in my head last night, from a small local band that was playing at the restaurant that I work at. It never really hit me, though. You know? And then I got told all this information, and I just prayed that He would show me the way, the path in which I am supposed to take. I went to work this morning, and they turned on the music, and it just blared really loud (apparently, someone decided to do some jamming last night, LOL). Anyway, the song that just happened to play was the one that was stuck in my head. Heeeeeeeyyyy, heeey, rock me mamaa … 

And that’s when it hit me. That was a sign to me. 

Anyways, let’s continue. 

With the merciful, You will show Yourself merciful;

With a blameless man You will show Yourself blameless;

With the pure You will show Yourself pure;

And with the devious You will show Yourself shrewd. 

You will save the humble people;

But your eyes are on the haughty, that You may bring them down. 

I believe, that by these words, the Lord means for His children to be that in which they wish to see of Him. That, in order for us to receive His mercy, His purity and graciousness, we must first put out that which we seek. But, I also believe that, by these words, we should not expect or exploit this from Him. We should put forth these notions without the under brewing contrivance of an instant gratificating effort by Him.

He will lay unto those that which they have impressed onto others. 

Upon searching for something, I stumbled upon this word:

Contrition

It is a feeling of deep remorse, so much that you physically detest your past sins and wish to make amends from either the love of God (perfect contrition), or the hope of Heaven (imperfect contrition). 

Non-Christianity related, it means simply true/deeply felt remorse for an action, penitence. 

Either way, I learned a new word, and I will surely use it. 

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Hazel Eyes

Throw Fear Away Here

I am at a crossroads. Well, not exactly, but I can see it rapidly approaching. So fast, there is not a moment to lose! Make a decision now! NOW! NOW or that opportunity shall fly away in the wind to never be seen again like a grocery receipt that you need, that you OH SO need, but just can’t seem to grasp within your hands firmly enough to stop it from slipping away. Where should I go? Right, left, up, down?!?! Not to mention those 9 other dimensions that String Theory proposes … WHY is this so hard? Shouldn’t I have a goal? Shouldn’t I have a plan? A PLAN?! Who has those anymore … just throw your fears in the wind and take that first step, right? Words that should be easily translated to action, yet, here I sit, worrying the fuck out of my mind about my future.
There’s so many things. So many options, how can I just choose one? How can I only begin when I’ve gotten so far? Why jump into something new when comfort is so pleasing, so congenial, right? No … I can’t do something I’ve been and done before, my whole life, my future is about experiencing new things, right? Right?! Just drop everything and run with it … Why must life be so difficult? Why must paths that seem to want to converge for your convenience be suddenly strewn across the four corners of Earth, and be placed under the watchful and glaring gaze of everyone you have ever come across?

I am a young female, and obviously, with young femality, comes the young man, whose oddities and familiarity and precious smile with those hazel eyes … of course she shall fall … of course, there shall be no other way, right?

Whence the words days before she had allowed to fall out of her mouth, whence the action of vividly portraying that which she wishes her future man to possess … whence she is able to check off Every. Single. Damn. Box. in that imaginary checklist she had proposed in her mind … by a man who just literally appears, catches her eyes in a strange and fascinating manner, to a point that leaves her brain running with just the sight, her heart pumping upon a single conversation, her butterflies a flurrying upon eye contact …

Her abnormally suffering memory only serving it’s height in glorious mischief, as she cannot seem to remember the countless details they had discussed, but, alas, this presents the opportunity to converse further upon a subject which has already been previously discussed without a bore or a repetitive, monotonous notion in mind, does it not?

With that in mind, with the presence of one so alike in mind, notion, and almost spirit, is it not a notion to put forth effort with?

It seems, something, in this universe, is conspiring, though.

He states, business and pleasure do not mix, to a man whose friendly demeanor is nothing to question.

We, personally, us two, have discussed traveling, the Carnival, but alas, with his militariness and whatnot, he is not allowed to leave the state for more than a couple weeks at a time, though, he has no staples against traveling, as his whole life has been traveling, never staying in any one place for more than two months … maybe this shall be the exception?

Laughter is such a gorgeous, beautiful thing. Life’s best medicine, save for morphine, of course. I always say, the best way to my heart is laughter, and good food (sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be ‘good’ per say, just edible). And he makes me laugh … oh, does he ever make me laugh. And not just in that ‘Oh, I like him, so my mind will make me think everything he says is funny’ … it’s real laughing, laughing so hard I snort, or can’t breathe, and I double over and start tearing up. At work, might I add.

And when I can make him smile … it’s the best feeling in the world. I tell him, I’m making it my life mission to make you smile and laugh … he just shrugs and smiles a bit, and I just go on with drying that dish, thinking. Sometimes I do it on accident, sometimes on purpose, other times … I just go with it.

The only real visceral difference between us, is that he’s more conservative with his generosity. He’s a bit more shy. He’s a bit more solemn in his demeanor. But maybe that bit of opposite, maybe that’s what is a bit more attractive, because maybe, just maybe, I can be a light in his life? He’s had a lot of bad in his past, as I can relate to, but maybe … I can put his mind off of it for that small while in which we are talking, or within each other’s presence.

So that brings my journey back ’round. Do I stay in this area, do something with what I have here? Go somewhere else? Go with the Carnival in the summer, just to get away and think? Do this … or that … or that other thing. Pursue that … or maybe that one.

With so many options, sometimes, I think I should just let God decide. He’s the only one who truly knows what’s best for me. And he’s been right so far, hasn’t he?

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I Dream of Summer

In the midst of a raging winter storm, I find myself within my own little brewing storm: within my head. Looking outside and seeing the swirling, fat snowflakes rush towards their brethren as if to cling to the very ground they came from, I realize that I miss Summer.

Summer, the lazy, hot days where you can sit out on the green grass and bathe in the ever present waves of sun.

Summer, where being caked doesn’t mean having cake upon your face for your birthday, rather being so burnt from the sun, you feel you look like a lobster.

Summer, where the air is so thick with humidity, that you can barely breathe because it presses down upon your body like an elephant.

Summer … where you can dress up to go to your favorite watering hole, and feel confident about your body, and feel beautiful in front of all those staring eyes, and … who am I kidding.

Who actually feels confident about their bodies when they bare everything in a two piece bikini? Who actually feels confident being the center of attention when you know your cellulite is hanging out, your boobs are a bit saggy, your period makes you feel bloated, and your make-up, which isn’t waterproof, could melt and most likely will melt at any second?

I do (But that’s why I don’t wear makeup in the summer).

But that’s me. I don’t care. I mean, I obviously care about my body, and I treat it well, but I don’t care how other people judge me for my appearance, when I don’t do the same to others. I wish people to treat me as how I treat them. The Bible says it, and actually, it’s one of my favorite verses, as spoken by my previous Pastor, whose family I saw as my own.

Matthew 7:1-29

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

I try so hard to do exactly that, and, after a couple of years of doing so, it really is not that hard. But I’ve never really been that fearful of the community eye. I have never been one to worry about what other people thought of me, unless it required something important, like not wearing pajama pants to a job interview. I think that is what helped me, though. Because, although I didn’t care what other people thought about me, I thought about other people. I did, I’m not going to lie. When I was in high school, you’re practically brainwashed to look at others and say, ‘She’s a bitch’, ‘That guy is in football and has tons of friends, he must be a jerk’, among other things. But, even in high school, I think I still had a bit of God in me, even though I didn’t know it. Because back there, upon thinking about what I just thought about, would come the thought that, hey, I’ve been through shit, and I know people look at me funny, but I have reasons, you know? So, why shouldn’t they? Why shouldn’t everyone else have a story? That ‘bitch’? Her mother walked out on her and her father is always out at the bar or working. He keeps her either in the house or at school and she isn’t allowed to go anywhere. Her food supply at home is barely enough, as she sometimes has to live off of bread dipped in ketchup. They have three cats and two birds, so although she washes her clothes constantly, she always smells like animal excretions. That ‘jerk’ is actually a very nice guy, has a huge appreciation for opposite sex, as he was raised by a loving mother and father and has four sister, two younger that he would do anything for. He may not be the smartest man, but he has strong morals and he cares for others. He is strong, and although he doesn’t have too much in the way of smarts going for him, he’s got that as he was raised on a farm.

Everyone has a damn story, I found. And after hearing my pastor talk of not judging another’s sliver with your own log lodged in your eye, I realized that even the thought of judgement upon another person is … just plain rude.

Realizing that people have stories, that that person might have a bad day because her son was killed in a car accident two weeks ago and they just had their funeral, might help you to become open minded.

I know I have.

Everyone, EVERYONE you look at has some sort of story. Their character is built upon what experiences they have been through. Their lives so far might not resemble yours in the least, but that is no reason to treat them any different than you would want to be treated.

That’s why I don’t judge. I don’t look at anyone and pinpoint what is wrong with the character they give out, with the clothes they dress in, how they do their hair, the bags under their eyes or the crocs they wear. Because that is not what you should look at when looking at anyone, you should look at their story. Their experiences, their lives.

But, I know others don’t exactly revel in this fact. I know others can’t do that, maybe in the future, they can, but at the moment, they are so stuck in society’s ways.

I read a study once. It stated that when men see women in skimpy clothing, they view them as objects, not a human with emotions and intentions. They dehumanize them and view them as simply ‘tools’. I find this disturbing. I never really liked the way I looked in a bikini anyways. It just didn’t flatter my curves, and my little ‘pooch’ just sits there. So, it was nice to hear a reason to give up on bikinis. It’s not that I care what other what other people think of me, it’s more of what I think of me. I like to feel proud of my body, and running around half naked just is not the way I would approach that.

Hey, if you can do that, by all means, go ahead. More power to you, I am proud of you, girl! Putting yourself out there like that!

I feel like I am going against what I said earlier, about not caring what other people thought of me, judgement wise. But, then again, I’d rather not subject them to judgement of others, you know? I’d rather not wear a bikini, and have men have to see me that way.

Which is why, I think, I found the perfect swimsuit.

I know, all that talking to lead to this. It is simply beautiful, though, and it is finely crafted by hand, and the comments and ratings I read were through the roof! Not to mention, I look great in this type of dress (old fashioned and whatnot), but that’s not it. I know it will make me feel and look sexy and beautiful, and not subject men to the thought that, hey, I am an object, because I want others to see me as a human, with emotions and intentions and a story.

Does this make sense?

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